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Final stretch

December 12, 2011

Didn’t realize it’s been so long since I’ve updated.

Really not sure why, but I ended up sleeping a LOT this weekend. I went for a nap Friday afternoon and ended up sleeping for about 16 hours straight. I haven’t felt tired lately, so I don’t get why I’m sleeping so much. Things seem to be slowing down symptom-wise. The itchies aren’t going away (bad enough that I’ve been waking up with blood under my nails from scratching so much in my sleep), mainly on my legs, and lots of pins and needles. Was in the car with the heater blowing on my legs and wow…it started with that horrible squeezing feeling, then it felt like someone was shoving red hot chunks of metal under my toenails and prying the nails off. Took my shoes and sock offs, then stuck my foot near the open window and almost instant relief (it’s staying around 0 celsius lately). Good to know cold still works pretty well I suppose.

I’m trying really hard not to stress out, but it’s hard. Today, the last week of the semester starts. I have a test almost every day, and I don’t really feel ready for any of them. It’s going to be hard to find a balance between getting enough studying done and relaxing enough. I’m finally starting to get better, I don’t want to go back to feeling horrible all the time again. I’m finished one class so far, and I passed that one with flying colours, but it was a really easy class. I get my grade for another class today that I just finished, and I know I passed that one just fine. Final test for 3rd class today, and while the class was easy as hell, it’s graded by a glitchy computer program instead of the teacher *cough*lazyteacher*cough* so who knows how that will go. I’m going to try to get my boys together for a few cram sessions before the final 3 tests. My lab grades haven’t been fixed despite the teacher saying they would fix it, the system still says I’m getting 0 on all my labs because I don’t know why. I did the labs, I did the reports, but they seem to have gotten lost somewhere along the way. I have to pass all my classes because they are prerequisite for next the ones next semester. Arg, STRESS. I’ve gotten a lot of my organization for next semester hammered out though already, so at least that’s one less thing to worry about.

Trying not to freak out…gotta focus on the positive stuff. The few long days I have left at school, I’ll be using the chair. But, for the short days I’m using the cane. I’ve been getting around easier with the cane, my coordination seems to be improving, and I’m starting to last longer on my feet before I’m completely exhausted. My biggest concern with using the cane now is dizzy spells. Really intense, really sudden dizzy spells and I have no idea why this is popping up. If I let myself get freaked out by everything that pops up though, I’ll just end up too scared to even try getting out of the wheelchair.

There are 3 topics I wanted to write about, but I can’t remember one of them and I just haven’t had the time to lately. Once I’m done with this hellish week then I’ll get those finished. Will be writing about the “you don’t know what it’s like” attitude, remission guilt, and… I still can’t remember what the other one was. I think I might have mentioned it on twitter, if anyone remembers what it was, let me know.

Going back to Dr. Kickass next week. Really nervous about it, so I’m just trying not to think about it. Have to get that list written up soon though, likely on the weekend.


From → Journal

  1. So you get the itching too??? I have not had it in a while, not full blown at least… Suck… Glad your back on your feet even if it’s with a cane. I have barely stopped using the cane maybe in the last few days but my legs still get weak or if I walk too much (which isn’t a lot at all) their coordination gets all whack so I should still bring it with me just in case… Anyways, that should go away pretty soon, Ill explain in my blog today haha…

    Oh. and “Milk is duh devil!” haha!

    • Oh yes, the itching drives me friggin nuts. Especially when I’m at school, it’s so hard not to scratch. I just want to go nuts and scratch but I don’t want to look like I’ve got fleas or something lol 😛 The really intense spots are in my legs and my head, so I’m blaming the spots in my head on the trigeminal neuralgia (its a bit different from the itch in my legs, has more of a burning sensation). The tegretol kinda sorta works for it, but not very well and it doesn’t last long.
      Haha, me too! The chair is driving me nuts. I’m still using it at school because it’s a lot of walking around carrying a bunch of heavy books, but on the light days I have this week (especially Friday, only 1 exam and it’s close to an entrance, no books to carry, yay!) I’ll use my cane. It’s definitely easier to get around at home though. Not quite ready to say, walk to the store, but I’m confident enough now that I could walk through the grocery story to get a small bit if shopping done.
      Milk is duh devil? lol what? I’m so confused 😛

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