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Rollin

November 26, 2011

I’ve been using the chair around the house as much as possible to get used to the steering and such. I’ve gotten pretty good, but for the most part I can’t get into any rooms in my house besides the open common areas (can’t get into my office, bathroom, or bedroom because the doorways are too small).

Went out to get some shopping done and used the cane instead of the chair. Extremely wobbly and my legs have just been killing me all day. Got that horrible squeezing feeling and tons of constant twitching and spasms. I’ve been putting my feet up when I’m sitting around not moving (ex: homework, video games, etc) but it doesn’t seem to help with the squeezing at all, and there is no visible swelling so it’s just that stupid banding sensation again. Been getting spasms in my abdomen more regularly now, around my ribs. Hoping it just stays as spasms or lets up. I really don’t want to be dealing with the hug again. Was supposed to go into a second shop, but I just couldn’t do it after going through one store. I was too sore and unsteady so I had to get my mom to go in for me.

The mediation did not go well. While the moderator was really harsh on them, they pretty much got off scott free. If anything else happens, they will be punished more severely because this incident will be considered when deciding their punishment. They just played the pity card the whole time, but it didn’t work thankfully. They outright lied as well, claiming that they called me handicapped not “fucking crippled bitch”. I didn’t get to bring a witness with me because of conflicting schedules, but I did have the blessing of having an extremely compassionate, kind, wonderful person be there with me before, during, and after the meeting. I don’t think I would have gotten through the meeting without yelling out of frustration without that person there. I am deeply thankful that they were there for me. I’m focusing more on the kindness of that person instead of the hatred of the attacker and it’s made things much easier on me emotionally. I got a key for the elevator from the counselor as well so I don’t have to wait until Tuesday to start using my chair at school.

Going around the house in the chair has really made me realize just how difficult normal tasks are in a chair. Everything is just out of reach, things like tables, chairs, and carpets are suddenly huge obstacles. I’m a bit anxious about using the chair at school for the first time. I’m not worried about how classmates will react (I already have people willing to race against me hehe), I’m more concerned about just getting around. I’m concerned about having enough space around my desk to get in and out. I’m a bit worried that something stupid will happen like my key for the elevator won’t work and I’ll end up missing a class trying to hunt down a key that does work. I’m worried I’ll try to reach for something a bit too much and tip over (it’s happened already at home, though I managed to shove myself back in the chair before doing a faceplant). It will be really nice to be able to move around quickly though and not have to carry an overstuffed bookbag on my back. I’m not sure if I’m going to leave the armrests on or not. I need them on to reposition myself every now and then (which is extremely important when you spend a lot of time in a chair. I’ve seen pressure sores before, and that is not something I want to experience), but with the armrests on, I can’t push myself in close to a desk so I’d need more room in a class. I’ll probably leave them off on Monday and see how it goes.

I had an idea last night as I was sitting on the couch, looking at the chair. I want to contact my old program coordinator and talk to her about the possibility of giving an optional, outside-of-class-time lecture and Q&A session to the current class of personal care attendants. I’ve seen the situation now from both the perspective of a care giver and a patient (though from nurses in the hospital, not from a home care attendant), and I think it would be nice to share some insights about that with them. It’s amazing how much nonverbal communication takes on new meanings when you’re put in a new role like this. We’ll see. If that happens, it probably won’t be until next semester. It would be a nice opportunity for both the students and me. They get to get some questions answered from someone who has experience in their future field of work, I get to turn something crappy into something positive, and I get more experience speaking before a large crowd. Public speaking experience is a big one for me because I want to end up teaching anatomy and physiology to care attendants eventually.

Speaking of care attendants, I recently found out that I can tutor students that are not in my program. So, next semester, I may sign up to tutor the care attendants, and maybe even advanced biology students. All depends on my schedule, course workload, and energy level.

Anyway, lots of housework to do so I’m off. Have a good weekend!

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