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November 22, 2011

Legs are BUZZING right now. So irritating. By the time I get home, my legs are buzzing and weak, more spasms and pain, parts of my feet go completely numb (some of my toes are totally dead right now and I can’t move some of the toes on my left foot). Not as tired as I thought I would be though, which is good. At least the fatigue is letting up a bit. Definitely a lazy day though (a nap would be nice right now, but at least I’m not so tired I’m a complete zombie). My back and hips are absolutely killing me. It feels like I’m starting to get a pinched nerve in my shoulder from using that cane. It hurts so much to use the cane, but if I walk without it, I’m falling all over the place and my left leg keeps ….what’s the expression……oh man how do you say that… letting go? Sure, we’ll go with that. I’m really looking forward to saving energy at school using the chair and putting that extra energy into working out my legs and homework.

Looks like I’ll be going on Friday to get the wheelchair 😀 I’m happy about it right now cause it’s going to be so much easier on my legs and my right shoulder (and my back, since I won’t have my bookbag on my back, it’ll be on the back of the chair). I’m not sure how I’ll feel once I actually use it the first few times, especially in public. I’ve read things from other people that started using a wheelchair, and it seems to be that you go from “yay! this is going to make things so much easier, I can’t wait!” to “oh my god I can’t believe it’s come to this”. I’ll have to use the cane on Monday because I won’t have access to the elevator yet, so Tuesday will be the first day at school with it. So, at least I’ll have some time to get used to using it at home and for going out to do groceries or whatever. I’ve goofed around in a chair when I was bored waiting for calls back in the first responder days, so at least it won’t be an entirely new experience steering it and such. I’m really surprised by how cheap it is to rent one. It’s going to be really tempting to challenge everyone I see to a race. I’ve been moving so slowly for so long now, it’s going to be exhilarating moving fast again.

I talked to the manager at school about the incident with that ignorant student today. Looks like it’ll be a discussion after all. Just gotta wait for a letter saying when and where. I’m not looking forward to this. It’s going to be really messy, and I know she’s going to try to work me up into screaming something at her to make me look bad. I won’t give her the satisfaction. But really, what do I want to say to this person? Nothing I say is going to get through, so what’s the point? Anything I want to say to this person is really damn venomous (I would love for nothing more than to make this girl cry), and anything I say that is civil won’t get through because she doesn’t care and doesn’t feel she’s in the wrong. She walked past me today as I was waiting for a class and gave me a dirty look, looked me up and down like she was sizing me up for a physical confrontation, then kept moving cause there were too many people around. Been watching my back all day and will continue to look over my shoulder constantly until she’s gone from the school. Good thing I’m rarely alone at school.


From → Journal

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