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This is my boom stick

October 26, 2011

Actually it’s my walking stick.
Back on Tiny Tim. My left leg is spasming, twitching, cramping, flexing all over without me telling it to. I hate this. It hurts like friggin crazy, it’s driving me nuts. When I sit down it looks like there are invisible hands grabbing my leg and shaking it back and forth. I always get spasms on the outer side of my left thigh for some reason. Those ones hurt almost as much as the ones I get in the arches of my feet. It feels like it goes down to the bone, like I’m having a really thick needle shoved down into my femur then having the muscle twisted around the needle like a ham key. Thankfully this started acting up towards the end of the day and it was just twitching when I left school. Going to see my friends tonight so I’ll be using my cane. In all likelihood tomorrow will be the first day I use the cane at school. The muscle problems in my left leg go right from my toes up to my arse (just coming off a wicked buttcheek spasm, dear lord that hurt). My back started to get really sore just before the twitching started but it’s gone mostly away now. Honestly, at this point I really don’t care about what people at school will think or say about me for using a cane. Most of them I won’t be seeing once this program is done, what does it matter? Screw em. It’ll be a bit challenging working in the lab with the use of only one hand, but what can you do. I wore my wrist brace again today. Took it off when I got home to give my skin a break. It still feels kinda weak. It’s a bit tingly and stiff, but it’s not curling down as much. Why would it start to go away, then another symptom (my leg) pop up? I don’t get that. I’m happy that one is going away of course, but it’s just weird. I’ve been having short bursts of vertigo lately, so I’m not even going to bother attempting the stairs at school with a cane, I’ll just use the elevator. My hands are a bit more shakey. Not stopping me from doing anything, can still drink without a straw, but I’m hoping to get to the store soon so I can get a bunch of plastic plates and stuff just in case that gets worse. Might finally pick up that dictation program I wanted tonight just in case as well. Lots of essay writing to do, don’t want to get stuck not able to type.

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10 Comments
  1. Do you have a metal gauntlet hand to go with your boom stick? Haha and who cares what people think even if you were to see them after the program? If they don’t want to be in your life after seeing that side of you then you shouldn’t want them in your life at all. And when I have to use a cane I am going to buy a suit, walk around hospitals, and be a huge jerk to everyone but no one will get rid of me because I’ll be so smart they will have no choice but to keep me around. It’s going to be awesome if you ask me haha….

  2. Haha no unfortunately I’m not as awesome as Bruce Campbell šŸ˜› I agree with you, if they can’t see past the cane then fuck them, they’re not worth the bother. just have to think of as many rediculous stories as possible to explain why my leg is screwed up šŸ˜› hmm… funny, man with a cane = wisdom. woman with a cane = cripple (if they’re young)

    • chuck permalink

      Just tell them when they ask you “ever watch house on tv?”enuf said then or give’em a nice polite “fuck-off”. easier said than done I know. Sure there will be plenty of people who will understand that you will encounter. They’re out there, believe me, I know first hand. Just not easy cluing them in sometimes. Gotta be tactful. But like Matt said “they’re not worth it if they don’t understand.

      • I don’t think it’ll be too much of an issue. I saw two people from my program today while I was out and about with my cane, but I’m not sure if either saw it because of the angle they saw me at. My hand has gone raw from the cane handle though, ugh. I hate it when that happens (I have one with a soft grip cover but it doesn’t fold up) spasms are letting finally, so nice. Aching all over now though as a result and my gait is still all messed up. If I’m like this tomorrow ill need it to help with my balance. I can get around at home without it (hug the walls) but not at school

  3. chuck permalink

    WOW, I just went through the wall-hugging phase just 3 years ago and left nice smudges all over the house…funny thing is, would love to turn back the clock…now, I leave holes and scrapes on the walls from powerchair…whole lot of patching up to do now…so, go right ahead and hug those walls cause they don’t discriminate and there may come a time when you miss that. Sounds strange I know…

    • doesn’t sound strange at all. I know that someday I’ll be looking back on this and thinking “I wish I could go back to just leaning on walls or using a cane”. But, that doesn’t stop me now from thinking every now and then “I wish I could get around like a normal person my age”. When I get passed by little old ladies out for their daily powerwalk, that just feels wrong. Seeing people my age being able to run around, while I hobble around with a cane nearly falling over every few feet…it’s just not right. I get that others have it much worse than I do, and I am thankful for what I still have, but still…this shouldn’t happen to anyone.

  4. Anonymous permalink

    Whoa hi, this is Sophia from our little BS club. XD Nice blog!
    I use my cane at uni whenever I need it and the worst that ever happens to me is pity and awkward questions about injuries (which I answer with “nope, disability”). I know what you mean about wanting to be able to get around though…I freak out a bit every time I see someone just running across the street in between cars or to catch the bus. Why oh why can’t I do it? :/

    • Hey sophia! How’s uni going? Haha funny you mention that, I was walking to the corner store after class and everyone was running across the laneway to pass it before cars came, and I had to just stand there on the median and wait for the cars to pass. Sucked watching them run, especially since its cold out today so I had to be out in the wind longer than them šŸ˜› curious: how did you get from the group to this blog?

      • Anonymous permalink

        Uni is okay, but my cold is still killing me despite five more days of antibiotics and misery. I hope it’ll get better over the weekend!
        I saw that Matt has a link to your blog on his blog and recognised the name from someonelikeme (where, ages ago, I realised that prisoneroftoday was you because you had mentioned Tiny Tim or something in the group and on there). šŸ˜€ Yeah okay, a bit confusing maybe, but that’s how I found it. šŸ˜‰

  5. Haha wow ya that’s quite a journey to get here šŸ˜› I didn’t realize you’re on someonelikeme! šŸ˜€ Love that site.
    I hear you on the cold, mine is still coming after me too. Hope you’re feeling better

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