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Almost anniversary

October 25, 2011

On the 30th it’ll be 7 months since Dr. Fab sent me to the ER. 7 months since Madame ER Doc put those papers in my hands, circled “multiple sclerosis” and told me that is what I most likely have. Yet we still don’t know for sure? There is something very wrong about that. I know it won’t kill me, but it can destroy my body. I don’t want to end up trapped inside a body I can’t use at all. Time is of the essence, right? The sooner you start the DMDs the better? Whatever….already ranted a little bit about this on twitter so I won’t go off about it again. Already feeling emotional enough about it, don’t need to stress myself out even more. Need to forget about that and just focus on getting through today.

TN has been acting up really badly since last night. Driving me absolutely crazy. I had already taken my last dose of tegretol for the day last night when another attack sprung on. The med didn’t really seem to do much, which has me a bit worried about this new dosing schedule. I ended up using a little bit of weed again to try to tame it. To my surprise, it worked fairly well. I used less than last time, and while I still got a bit twitchy and shaky, the nausea wasn’t as bad and it did make the pain tolerable (didn’t take it away completely though). Having another attack right now, and I already took my AM dose of teg. If this doesn’t stop soon I’m going to try smoking again. Really don’t want to do that, but what choice do I have? The smell of it is terrible, I hate it. Do not want to go to school like that but if the teg doesn’t work, it’s either that or not go at all. In all likelihood I will be missing my first optional lecture today because of this garbage. Feels like there is a screw driver jammed into my temple that is sending shocks throughout my face and scalp. Jaw is so tensed up it feels like it’s going to pop out.

My hand started to curl downward a bit again yesterday morning. I do not want to end up like last time. I don’t want my wrist stuck bend downward and flexed for hours or who knows how long, it hurts way too much. I wore my wrist brace all day yesterday. Got some kinda funny looks at school but thankfully no one asked what had happened (maybe they all assume it’s carpel tunnel).My wrist is still curling downward a bit today and that hand feels really weak, so I’ll use the brace again today. My legs feel like they’ve gotten worse overall.

Fairly short day school-wise, but I have to go to the mall afterwards to try to find something to wear for my presentation tomorrow. Going to be a late night finishing off that presentation and writing an essay for another class. I’m not looking forward to the mall. No idea how I’m going to get there, but I know the sound in that place is going to be a nightmare if I’m having another attack.


From → Journal

  1. Forgive my poor memory but why have you not got a DX yet? Have you done the spinal tap? I am sure you have told me this multiple times but you know how it is….

    BTW, me an MY MS spent ou anniversary in bed allllllll daaaaaayyyy ;^b

  2. No spinal tap (not even ordered or mentioned yet), I’m still waiting for my spinal MRI. It was ordered in June or July but I don’t have my appointment yet (probably won’t find out when my appointment is until November or December). Wait times here are looooooong. If they suspected I had a brain tumour or something like that though I would’ve been in by now, it’s all about priority. There are many more worse off than me. Hmmm, my 7 month mark will be on a Sunday so I’ll probably be in my PJs all day or something lol. I hope for my 1 year anniversary I’ll be doing something awesome like ziplining or rockclimbing 😛

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