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Kids, smoking, and autism

June 11, 2011

The sun is shining, the birds are chirping, the wind is cool, and it’s going to be a fantastic day. I got a full 8 hours of sleep last night and feel amazing. All the numb spots I had yesterday (mainly my fingers and parts of my face) are no longer numb, but are doing that weird thing where it feels like the skin is vibrating. I’ve got l’hermitte’s again but it’s nowhere near as intense. Other than that, I feel normal. I’ve even noticed fewer floaters buggering around in my vision, and the number of white flashes I’m seeing is continuing to drop. I get a bit of pins and needles here and there, but it’s not painful anymore and just feels a bit itchy. I could not possibly be in a better mood today.

Yesterday was wonderful as well. Despite the symptoms I was having, I got quite a bit done. I didn’t bother touching any housework, but I got all my banking done, grocheries, other shopping, and got to see some friends and their little booger. It was so unbelievably cute; I walked to the store to meet them (which OMG…WALKING to the store, and walking home, feels sooo good to be able to do that again!) and when I got there, I noticed a little orange blur bouncing towards me (my vision still wasn’t the greatest yesterday 😛 I was thinking I needed new glasses but I guess it was just temporary). The closer the blur got, the louder the giggling got. It was their wee one, and she just bolted towards me when she saw me lol. While I don’t want kids of my own, I do love kids. Today is her birthday party, so I’ll be heading over to their place in a few hours. I can’t wait to see the look on her face when she sees the action figures I got her (that’s right, action figures, because she is the coolest little chick ever and loves superheroes).

I had my little brother over yesterday too, and it was so funny watching him go absolutely nuts in the pool. I couldn’t be more proud of him. He’s 6 and has severe autism. He’s extremely sensitive to sounds, so normally we make arrangements so he doesn’t come along into shops for grocheries and whatnot. Yesterday, he asked to come into the grochery store. He was sooo good! He helped put things in the cart, he was smiling, reading every label he saw, gabbing away, he didn’t cry at all, and he brushed off the music that was playing in the store like it was nothing (normally the music is what sends him into a meltdown). Not only did he overcome his autism in the grochery store, he did it again in another grochery store shortly after and again in a large extremely busy department store (it was so busy and loud in there it even made me a little cranky, but he got through it like a champ). I can’t find words to describe how happy that made me and just how proud of him I am (just thinking about it now and I’ve already got tears in my eyes). He’s such a little trooper, he really is my inspiration. If he can overcome a condition that has stopped him from doing things, so can I. I’m not going to let this disease stop me  from playing with him. I never want him to have to say “Let’s play tag! …oh you can’t, your leg is too sore” ever again.

On a similar note of overcoming something, I picked up some nicotine lozanges yesterday. I tried one out on my way home from the store instead of having a cigarette (I hate smoking while I walk anyway) and it tasted terrible. It was really nice at first (very minty) but that minty flavour was soon overpowered by the taste of ashes (it really does taste like ashes, and it makes my throat very dry and feel like there is is a big ball of ash in my throat). I’m not ready to give up on them yet though. I’ve tried medications before to help me quit, and it did nothing for me. I tried the nicotine gum, and it didn’t help because the taste was so bad (much worse than the lozanges). I’ve quit cold turkey before, but I won’t be doing that again as well…I’ve spent enough time as it is feeling sick, and I’m sick of being sick. I’m going to cut down to quit, my goal is to be smoke free by the end of the month or at the longest, the end of the first week of next month. I’m going to be using water, straws cut to the size of cigarettes, nicotine lozanges, deep breathing, and my usual musical avoidance to help me quit (when I get a craving, I put some music on. I tell myself “you can have a smoke once you’ve listened to 3 songs”. By the time the songs are finished, the craving has usually passed).

Now then, I’ve got to start getting ready to go to the party. Still no idea how I am going to get there, but oh well, worst come to worst I’ll just hop on the bus. Have a great day!


From → Journal

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