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Party weekend = time for books

May 20, 2011

Bonjour! Hope you are all having a lovely day. The weather here is absolutely lovely; not too hot (like it was yesterday), but not grey and rainy either. My energy levels are back to normal and the fog has lifted from my brain. Perfect timing too, since this is the start of a long weekend (thank you Queen Victoria). I have to work on Sunday but it will be glorious to sleep in on Monday. Normally Victoria Day (or May 2-4 as it’s more commonly known in these parts, in reference to both the date and a case of beer) is a big party weekend, but I don’t think I will be indulging too much this year. Just a few glasses of wine for me, thank you very much. I’m not too fond of bars and the one pub in town I like will no doubt be packed so I’ll be steering clear. That and a combination of alcohol and my still present balance problems generally do not have good results.

I’m still having some problems with my legs, but nowhere near as much pain. It seems the muscles in my thighs do not want to cooperate, especially in my left leg. When I put weight on my leg, the muscle groups contract and relax in a big disorganized mess, resulting in poor control over my leg. It’s not too painful, but it is making moving around a bit difficult if I don’t closely pay attention to what my leg is doing. When I’m sitting, my leg starts twitching randomly giving it that nice epileptic bowl of jello look again. On the rare occasion (about 5-10 times a day I estimate) it does lock up completely for a few minutes but rest, massage, and forcing my leg straight with my hands is helping that. I got a new cane and I just love it. It’s adjustable unlike the old wooden one and has a nice cushy padded grip. With that baby I can get up to a normal walking pace when I really concentrate, it’s great. I’m still a bit weary of using it in public, though without it I look drunk thanks to my wonky leg. My legs do get very tired quite quickly though so I try not to spend too much time on my feet. I try to avoid the cane as much as I can even though it makes things easier on me just because I don’t want to end up relying on it too much and losing muscle tone in my leg. Still plenty of tingles and pins and needles but I’ve gotten used to it.

The vertigo seems to be fading off, which is nice. Most of my balance problems now come from the trouble with my legs so it’s much easier to catch myself if I start to fall. It seems now the only time I get a bit of vertigo is if I’m say, in a car and it shifts after being put into park (I feel an exagerrated movement of the car that lasts a few moments after it’s actually stopped. So the car is perfectly still but to me still feels like it’s sliding forward and usually downward, even if parked facing uphill). I haven’t noticed any headaches so far today, and my stomach as improved by leaps and bounds (yay I don’t have to eat like a rabbit anymore!). Still can’t tell when my bladder is only partially full but no more problems with actually going when I finally get the sensation to go.

What else…my eyes. While I have noticed a dramatic increase in floaters lately, I haven’t had as many flashes of light at night. The few that I had during the day (which were more like white blurs) are gone, I think. The problem with figuring out if they are gone or not is that I have eye allergies to dust and various other environmental things so my eyes get well, gooey. This goo gets swept into my eye when I blink and obsures my vision, so I end up suddenly seeing a whitish blur. Normally I can get it out of my eye fairly easily but sometimes it does get pushed out of my line of sight before I can get at it, so sometimes it’s hard to tell when it’s just goo or when it’s my actual vision that is causing the problem. Needless to say, I’m still not driving.

I’ve yet to hear from the neurologist, so I might call him on Tuesday (since he’ll be no doubt be closed on Monday). I’m trying my best not to think about any of that though, I don’t want to ruin my weekend by getting all worked up about that. Since I have the rest of the day to myself, I’m going to start back on a little project of mine. I hope to eventually end my future nursing career by teaching by far the most fascinating subject covered in nursing school: anatomy and physiology. When I took the mandatory class for it when I was in college though, I noticed a lot of the students had an extremely difficult time following with the content (the teacher seemed to struggle a bit as well and every class ended up being a readalong from the textbook). So, I’ve decided to take it upon myself to create an anatomy and physiology study guide geared specifically for personal support workers/nurses’ aides. Since it’s an area that I’m enthralled by I don’t mind spending a few years to hammer it out. And even if it never gets published, I can use it for peer tutoring when classes start.

The reason why I stopped working on this project recently was because of the topic I was going over: the central nervous system. I was feeling miserable and drawing up illustrations of what normal sections of the brain look like and how it’s supposed to work made me a bit bitter. It made me dwell on my MRI as well. I couldn’t stop staring at a nice cross section of healthy white matter and wonder what mine looks like. So, to avoid that (despite feeling a great deal better now) I’m going to put the CNS on hold for a bit and get some more illustrations done for the cardiovascular system. I may even post a few of the illustrations actually, we’ll see if I remember to 😛 (which reminds me: the intention tremor video. Ugh…I’m having so many bloody problems uploading that video to youtube, I’m wondering if it’s my problem or their problem. I’m going to try to trim down the video a bit to make it shorter and smaller and see if that works).

Hmmm…..what else. I’m still working on those entries on other people’s reactions and my list of things I’ve done to adapt to my ever changing condition. My goal is to make the list as long, thorough, and helpful as possible so I don’t want to end up forgetting something and have to edit it a bunch of times. It will be up this weekend though.

Have a great weekend and to any other Canadians reading, Happy May 24! Make sure you call a cab or have a designated driver.


From → Journal

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