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Time for some reading, then back to work! *LANGUAGE*

May 15, 2011

I guess I should start off with a wee bit of a WARNING: when I started this blog I intended to avoid foul language, but now I don’t know…there are times where it is unavoidable (like this entry, with mention of a book title) so I’ve decided that from now on I won’t censor myself so much. For the sake of readers that may be offended by coarse language, I’ll put a warning in the entry title like this one (ex: *LANGUAGE*) So ya…if you get offended by that kind of language and you see that warning in the title, don’t read the entry. Now onto the actual entry for today:

The feeling good continues! The only difference from yesterday is that my balance is a bit more off and it’s taking longer for my headache to go away. I woke up to my legs twitching like crazy, but the morning stretches helped tame that. All in all though, I can’t complain. I was going to go out today and get some more carnations for the garden, but it’s really rainy and windy out so I think I’ll just stay in and catch up on housework and reading. If you have any suggestions for books feel free to post them. Right now I’m reading Look Me In The Eye by John Elder Robison, after that I’ll be reading Veronika Decides To Die by Paulo Coelho (once it finally arrives in the mail, that is). Really not sure what to read after that (besides the usual physics and anatomy and physiology texts that I’m reading to try to brush up for school). Might give And Then There Were None by Agatha Christie another go. I had to read that one in a highschool english class and while I enjoyed it, the massive amount of questions I had to answer about it subtracted from my enjoyment a bit (had to spend more time focusing on tiny details instead of just getting lost in the story). Also looking forward to reading Awkward Bitch by Marlo Donato Parmelee (her youtube videos really helped perk me up when I was feeling really low).

The one thing that is really bothering me right now is the wait for my MRI results. I understand that that clinic does an insane amount of tests and it takes time to file out their report and send it off to the doctor, then waiting for the doctor to have time to be able to see me, but it’s still driving me nuts. I can’t stand it when there is nothing I can do about a situation, so having it all be out of my hands now is maddening. I’m trying to just push it to the back of my mind, but I know that I’m going to jump and expect it to be the doctor anytime the phone rings. I’m also not entirely sure what to do if he finds something, makes a diagnosis, and then prescribes a treatment. Frankly, I do not trust this doctor’s judgement. If he prescribes something, I’m going to have to research the drugs very carefully before getting them filled. If it ends up being that my appointment with him is fairly close to the appointment with the new neurologist, then I won’t bother to fill out the prescriptions. I’ll just wait until I see the new doctor and get their opinion. If I end up seeing him very soon though and have a month or so until I see the new doctor I’m really not sure if I will start any treatments he prescribes just for that month.

I’m going back to work tonight and will be doing my entire fair share and I’m looking forward to it. Being physically unable to work, or only being able to do a portion of my usual, is really hard psychologically. It makes me feel really useless and guilty and makes me wonder why I bothered to show up at all. It’s going to be really nice to feel productive again instead of feeling like a burden.

Hope you all have a lovely day.

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From → Journal

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